Imagine this: I’m sitting on my throne minding my own business… beside me is my lovely Queen and my Son Jack, and along with Jack is his dear old faceless friend Ten of Spades, or as we call him, Tos. So it’s the four of us… a royal family and friend. I being the King of Spades am in Charge and certainly the most powerful amongst us.

As we enjoy our meal and are entertained by the Jokers and the meloncholy prose of the widowed Queen of Hearts, suddenly a bullet comes charging at me and my family. Of course this isn’t just any bullet, but it’s none other than the Ace of Spades. What a bummer! I’d rather be in evil Hoyletown than here in Bicycle Village witnessing this.

To add insult to injury, this so-called “bullet” who happens to be the lowest man on the proverbial totem pole claims to be the most powerful man. His power of suggestion was more than I could handle. This paradoxical claim of being the lowest yet the highest value all at the same time somehow made sense in my clouded cardboard cranium.

Yet I knew that this meant he would take his place by myside thus creating quite a stir amognst the royalty. Now the scene is the lowly friend of the family Tos (Ten of Spades), My son Jack, my dear Queen, Myself and then the Ace of Spades. Suddenly the five of us were swept up by the sweaty hands of a human as we felt the earth beneath us crumble… the sound of poker chips crashing to the floor was deafening.

To this day I still wake up in a cold sweat with the echo of human voices screaming “cheater, cheater…” my son still has a crimp in his neck from the fall… although, I must say, it’s not entirely a disappointment. It is a lot easier for me to find him now.

Well I’m done rambling, and besides it’s time for our daily shuffle, so we’ve got to batton down  the hatches and secure our dishes. Let’s just hope it’s a gentle faro and not an overhand. See you at the poker table!

I hate it when people say that! Agree to Disagree. In other words, let’s stop talking, stop entertaining other view points and completely close our minds to other ideas. I just hate that.

Sorry for the rant, but I’ve got to get this off my chest. I spend a fair amount of time in forums and in various discussion groups, both online and in the “real world.” All too often, when two people in the group have differing opinions, one of them will say, “well… I guess we’ll have to Agree to Disagree.”

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again… if two people agree on everything, then one of them is unneccessary. What’s the point of having a conversation or a brainstorming session or a discussion if both people completely 100% agree with everything the other person says?

Of course, I’m not advocating arguments or contention, and I’m certainly not saying that you should disagree just to disagree. Let me demonstrate the problem with an excercise.  Take a moment to actually do what I’m about to say.

First, I want you to think of the home your grew up in… if you moved around a lot, just pick any particular home that you’ve lived in… even your current home will do just fine… Now, pause for a moment and really visualize this home. See the details. Look around and soak in all of the details. Imagine as much of the details as you can.

Ok… if you haven’t done so already, close your eyes and follow the directions of the paragraph above. I’ll wait.  Done? Good!

Now if we were all together in a room, I’d ask each of you to describe what you saw in your mind. I’d have you give specifics and details. What you would quickly find is that some of you imagined your house from a particular room, maybe the kitchen, living room, bedroom, etc….

Some of you imagined the house from outside… the front yard looking toward the house… maybe the back yard looking toward the house… maybe a side yard. The funny thing is that you could all be describing the exact same house from a different view point, and everyone would argue and say that his/her view point is more valid.

Is a helicopter view of the house any more or less real than a view of the bottom of the house from inside the foundation? No. They are both legitimate views of the same object. It reminds me of the old “Blind Men and The Elephant” parable. The gist of it is that three blind men feel an elephant and are each asked to describe it, or compare it to something with which they are familiar. Here’s what they each say:

1. First Blind Man: An elephant is like a Tree!
2. Second Blind Man: An elephant is like a Snake!
3. Third Blind Man: An elephant is like a Rope!

They argue and argue and argue…. If they would have just decided to Agree to Disagree, they would never have discovered that Blind Man #1 was feeling the Leg which feels like a tree trunk, and Blind Man #2 was feeling the Trunk which feels like a snake, and Blind Man #3 was feeling the Tail which feels like a rope!

Also, realize that each of them repeating his view point back and forth is not productive either. Someone has to take the first step. Maybe Blind Man #1 could say, “Hey Blind Man #2, that’s odd to me that you say an elephant is like a snake, so why do you say that?” or “Can you explain?” etc.

Blind Man #2 could then say, “Yeah. Come over here and feel this.” Problem solved. They both learn something. If, however, they would close their minds and “Agree to Disagree,” they would never know the truth! How sad. What kind of a world would we live in if we all “Agreed to Disagree.” Open your mind!

Rather than insisting that someone else’s view point is invalid, ask questions. For example, “That’s interesting Joe; Why do you say that?” He may give you a reason that you would never have considered.

Tell me what’s more annoying that this:

Guy 1: “The color red increases blood pressure when viewed.”

Guy 2: “No it doesn’t.”

Guy 1: “Yes it does.”

Guy 2: “No it doesn’t.”

Guy 1: “Yes it does.”

Guy 2: “No it doesn’t!”

Guy 1: “Yes it does!”

Guy 2: “No it doesn’t!”

Guy 1: “Yes it does!”

Guy 2: “No it doesn’t!”

Guy 1: “Yes it does!”

Guy 2: “No it doesn’t!”

Guy 1: “Yes it does!”

Isn’t that annoying! How productive is that?! It ain’t brothers and sisters… it ain’t. What if Guy #2 said, “Really? Why do you say that?” Maybe Guy 1 would bust out with some newly discovered test that proved that very point. Or maybe he’ll realize that he has no proof… but at least the conversation would be productive.

The moment you immediately dismiss someone else’s point of view, you effectively are telling him/her that s/he is stupid. I’ll give you a specific example that happened to me once. I was talking to a business owner who uses QuickBooks to manage his business. He was concerned, due to the growth of his company, that they were hitting the limits of QuickBooks and would have to upgrade to a different version of QuickBooks.

I mentioned to him that I knew of a software program like QuickBooks that could handle his company’s size and it was specifically designed for his type of business. His immediate-without-hesitation response was, “no you don’t.” I actually tried to say that I did and was going to give him the specifics, but he again cut me off and said, “no you don’t.” In other words, I have no idea what I’m talking about.

Unfortunately, for him, I had information that he did not. I have a business associate who is a software engineer who also happened to grow up with a father who ran an accounting firm. The associate of mine built a very specific program for this business model that he has since sold to several other similar companies and has made a pretty penny.

I’ve just had one too many times on the forums where people are fighting over the best way to get a double lift “get ready.” I mean come on people…  When one guy says that he prefers one way over the other, inevitably someone comes in and says, “you’re wrong.” Then the come back is “no I’m not.” Then on go the “yeah buts…” Until finally one of them says, “Let’s just Agree to Disagree!”

Take a moment to read the other point of view, and maybe even try it. Maybe his double-lift will work better. Most importantly, at the very least, do NOT assume that your opinion is the only one that matters. To extremely paraphrase Paul Harris from his Art of Astonishment books, stop trying to poor everyone into your Jell-O mold of life’s view. It’s not the only way to look at life.

So as I go take some blood pressure medication and count to 10, remember this my friends a closed mind cannot receive and cannot grow. So open up and be fed!

There is nothing more satisfying than casually and subtly nailing a heckler… well almost nothing. I mean it’s hard to beat taking a bath in a tub full of chocolate milk while midgets feed you chocolate chip cookies. But besides that, nothing is more satisfying than a good “gotcha” with a heckler.

Case in Point:
I had a gig not too long ago that was a strolling corporate function. It was up in the mountains at a beautiful campsite right here in lovely Utah. With each group that I approached I opened with a variation of Jay Sankey’s “Die Hard Opener.” The basic premise is simply that a card is chosen, shuffled back into the deck and then you cause “their selection” to fly out of the deck into the air, and you catch it.

However, when you show it, you’re “wrong.” It’s not their card… just a magical phrase like “top change” and suddenly it is their card. Very cool opener, and the psychology behind it is brilliant. I’ve always loved this effect.

So I’d successfully performed it about 15 or 20 times without a hitch… the timing was great. Right about when they were thinking, “crap… did he really screw up?” The card was changed and I was Mr. Miracle. It was like that time that I was fishing in a lake of diet coke catching fish with meat hooks and chicken beaks for bait…. ah good times..

But I digress… The point is this: On the 21st time I performed it, when I got to the point where the card was “wrong” some smarty pants guy said, “They actually pay you for this?” I had just done the switch right as he said that. The magic happened, and I showed the selection, and simply said, “Yes, The DO pay me for this.”

It was Awesome. The guy’s jaw dropped, the audience laughed and cheered, and he even sort of apologized by saying, “Wow. That was good.” How sweet is that. I mean it’s not as sweet as a forest fully of hollow chocolate Easter Bunnies and sour gummy worms being eaten by invisible insects, but still it was sweet!

I gotta go. I can hear someone playing Stairway to Heaven on the Banjo.